It was the
end of a perfect day …inside …the candles were lit and the light throwing off
haunting images on the walls of the small cottage….outside the window a steady …cold
northern wind and a slow rain did what they could to wash the colors out of the
leaves of our maple tree….slowly I ran my fingers over the slightly oily but perfectly
…..even-colored brown skin …and as I did, I could smell the rich mix of sweet
and bitter aromas together with that …unmistakable smell that tells me everything
is going to be alright…..as I broke of a piece and let it slowly melt in my
mouth I realized that…..tasting a good chocolate is like an invitation to a
sensory explosion.
But honored
Toastmaster, fellow toast masters and guests…even as you realize the passion I
feel in the presence of good chocolate…… I must tell you ….with uttermost
sincerity ……that I do not love
chocolate
In my
opinion, until I change it, which I observe every right to do ….the word love
is probably one of the most misused words in the English dictionary ….so
misused that in fact ….at times I can almost envision how the misuse we submit
it to …works much like the cold wind and rain did for the maple leaves in my
tree…….draining it of all its power…all that is strong and beautiful …..leaving
just a watered out husk ……nothing but a ghost of its former self…..a lesser
word…..leaving it falling to the ground and into obscurity as an old word
without any real meaning or power
An
etymologist would surely disagree with me ….letting me know I am standing in
the way of the language inevitable evolution into the future …..letting you
know that the word love does not imply anything …but to hold someone or something
dear…….no limits …..and of course in a way I must agree ….but on another level …for
me ….love is so much more ….for me to love implies a deep, intimate personal
relationship to another person or group of persons ……
I was about 30 years old
when I told my dad for the first time that I loved him….sure I showed him
before…..but on that day it was important for me he understood the depth of my
feelings towards him and mom …..so I told him I loved him….there was absolutely
no misunderstanding and both of us hugged and silently cried together
Every time
I hear a 13 year old say she loves a guy she never met …a couple that just met
claim their love…..a grown man exclaiming his love for steak or a woman her
love for a pair of shoes ….I cringe a little inside ….to hear the word love
used thus is for me much like cursing …..a proof sure of their limited
vocabulary …a vocabulary that simply do not have enough words or imagination to
identify and convey the elation they feel
Sure there are
many forms of love …and it is not the purpose of this speech to belittle anyone
of them ....all I am asking is that you choose your loves wisely ….that you
shelter the word love from miss-use ...to reserve love …for a feeling so deep
that it simply cannot be described in any other way ….for a feeling so
profound, so overwhelming that no adverb added for emphasis will ever make it
larger …more important ...that the next time when you are confronted by the
choice to express your love …That you exercise some afterthought before using
the word …. (silent hand gestures)
-Ask
yourself do I really love that cake or isn’t it more that the thought of eating
the cakes makes you salivate and long to sink your teeth into its succulent
form. Think for a moment of the verb use of the word ….to make love …..have you
ever hear or read about a conversation in which a man asks a woman to make love
with him and the woman immediately understanding that all he wants to do is to
bake a cake
…and about that couple that claim after a
single date their absolute love for each other ….is it really love ….isn’t it
more likely that it is simply lust ….and if they claim love at that stage …..what
words will they use 10 years down the lane to explain the profound feeling of
togetherness ….the longing to be alone together ….the knowing that in front of
you is a true and tested friend ….a life partner …and that what you share
together is the real deal ….that what you share is love.
I know that
society today is applauding exaggerations and bold speech …..that everything
must be big and bold ….that a horror movie scares you out of your wit …..that
an albeit funny comedian made you pee your pants and that the chocolate cake
sent you into nirvana
……but in
the case of love I ask you to make an exception …..to make a special case …I
ask that you shelter the word from miss-use…..that you put your feelings to the
test and critically examine them ….that you ask yourself if it really is love
you are feeling or if you are not simply confusing love with some other strong
feeling ….that you shelter love so that next time you use it, it conveys with
full force the feeling you have ….that the person your love is directed towards
is in no doubt about what you mean …..and that they do not see it as an
invitation to turn the oven on
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