Did you know

The problem with using statistics in a speech like this --- is that it is far too easy to use it in the same way a drunkard uses a lamppost --- that is for support --- rather --- than for illumination --- but tonight my friends I do not need the support --- I will use it instead to illuminate my path

Did you know;

That tonight when you are putting you weary head on your pillow over 4000 Canadian women and their children will hide in a women’s shelter ---

Did you know;

That every night hundreds of women are turned away --- not because they do not have pressing needs --- but because there is not enough room to house them ---

Did you know;

That most of those women fear for their lives and those of their kids ---

Do you realize

That those 4000 women – each night, are probably just the tip of an iceberg

Do you realize

That those women fearing for their lives are women just like you, your neighbor, your sister, your mother or your best friend

Do you know;

That most of those women are ashamed they have been abused, they blame themselves

Honored toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and most welcome guests --- I am a man --- just one man --- and in the face of this travesty I feel --- inadequate

I want to – somehow, to offer a helping hand --- not in pity – I want to reach out in support – the question for me is where and how – where am I needed and how can I make the largest impact.

I want to help these women --- but more my dream is to help prevent the abuse from happening in the first place – I want to be a voice --- and help to increase the awareness of the problem, change the perception of the women being abused, and change the attitude towards the perpetrators

Three years ago I put on these red pumps for the first time --- suffering no more that some derisive comments, laughter, some blisters, and the shame of going into the store to buy them --- I didn’t do it to show off my feminine side --- I did it as part of an organized campaign called “Walk a Mile in her shoes” to raise awareness about violence, abuse and rape of women ---

And yes I heard the critique – and I agree that even, if I walk a mile in your shoes, I will never be able to understand the journey you have taken to get where you are today --- but on the other hand that was never my objective in the first place

The reason for me -- was to be part of something outrageous --- something silly, something that made the people I know question my motives and my sanity --- something that would make the people on the streets of Toronto stop, laugh and wonder what was going on --- what I was looking for was an opening to start a conversation --- start a conversation about the prevalence of violence against women ---start a conversation about the attitude changes I think are required to do that --- and I think we men have to take part in that conversation

Why is it still in 2015 --- in large portion of our society accepted --- to blame a woman for the violence perpetrated against her --- why, I ask myself why --- it baffles my mind that we are still in 2015 are adhering to antiquated ideas like that --- in a modern society

I think that we all --- but us men in particular --- need to show that we do not tolerate that kind of speech and victim-blaming anymore --- not from the press and not from people around us ---- I think it is time we decisively put our foot down and say -- NO, it is not her fault she got hit --- NO it is not her fault she got raped ---  and NO it is not her fault she got killed --- she may have teased him, she may have disappointed him, she may have rejected him --- but it was not her fault he raised his hand --- How can we ever stop women from blaming themselves for the violence they have suffered if we as a society feel comfortable blaming them

But I am not ignorant, I know also men are subject to domestic violence and I despise that too --- but the violence against women are 3 times as prevalent --- and this is the fight I have decided to take up

So again let me ask you ---Did you know before this speech tonight -- that this very night when you are putting you weary head on your pillow over 4000 Canadian women and their children will seek refuge in a women’s shelter --- fearing for their lives --- and that that is only the tip of an iceberg.

--- --- I think you all agree with me when I say --- something has to change

And I think it starts with us --- I think it starts with a personal decision we can all make --- a decision to never look down on another person --- unless you’re are offering him or her a helping hand – not as an island apart but a hand to stand up together with the rest of us