Sheltering love

It was the end of a perfect day …inside …the candles were lit and the light throwing off haunting images on the walls of the small cottage….outside the window a steady …cold northern wind and a slow rain did what they could to wash the colors out of the leaves of our maple tree….slowly I ran my fingers over the slightly oily but perfectly …..even-colored brown skin …and as I did, I could smell the rich mix of sweet and bitter aromas together with that …unmistakable smell that tells me everything is going to be alright…..as I broke of a piece and let it slowly melt in my mouth I realized that…..tasting a good chocolate is like an invitation to a sensory explosion.

But honored Toastmaster, fellow toast masters and guests…even as you realize the passion I feel in the presence of good chocolate…… I must tell you ….with uttermost sincerity ……that I do not love chocolate

In my opinion, until I change it, which I observe every right to do ….the word love is probably one of the most misused words in the English dictionary ….so misused that in fact ….at times I can almost envision how the misuse we submit it to …works much like the cold wind and rain did for the maple leaves in my tree…….draining it of all its power…all that is strong and beautiful …..leaving just a watered out husk ……nothing but a ghost of its former self…..a lesser word…..leaving it falling to the ground and into obscurity as an old word without any real meaning or power

An etymologist would surely disagree with me ….letting me know I am standing in the way of the language inevitable evolution into the future …..letting you know that the word love does not imply anything …but to hold someone or something dear…….no limits …..and of course in a way I must agree ….but on another level …for me ….love is so much more ….for me to love implies a deep, intimate personal relationship to another person or group of persons …… 

I was about 30 years old when I told my dad for the first time that I loved him….sure I showed him before…..but on that day it was important for me he understood the depth of my feelings towards him and mom …..so I told him I loved him….there was absolutely no misunderstanding and both of us hugged and silently cried together

Every time I hear a 13 year old say she loves a guy she never met …a couple that just met claim their love…..a grown man exclaiming his love for steak or a woman her love for a pair of shoes ….I cringe a little inside ….to hear the word love used thus is for me much like cursing …..a proof sure of their limited vocabulary …a vocabulary that simply do not have enough words or imagination to identify and convey the elation they feel

Sure there are many forms of love …and it is not the purpose of this speech to belittle anyone of them ....all I am asking is that you choose your loves wisely ….that you shelter the word love from miss-use ...to reserve love …for a feeling so deep that it simply cannot be described in any other way ….for a feeling so profound, so overwhelming that no adverb added for emphasis will ever make it larger …more important ...that the next time when you are confronted by the choice to express your love …That you exercise some afterthought before using the word …. (silent hand gestures)

-Ask yourself do I really love that cake or isn’t it more that the thought of eating the cakes makes you salivate and long to sink your teeth into its succulent form. Think for a moment of the verb use of the word ….to make love …..have you ever hear or read about a conversation in which a man asks a woman to make love with him and the woman immediately understanding that all he wants to do is to bake a cake

 …and about that couple that claim after a single date their absolute love for each other ….is it really love ….isn’t it more likely that it is simply lust ….and if they claim love at that stage …..what words will they use 10 years down the lane to explain the profound feeling of togetherness ….the longing to be alone together ….the knowing that in front of you is a true and tested friend ….a life partner …and that what you share together is the real deal ….that what you share is love.

I know that society today is applauding exaggerations and bold speech …..that everything must be big and bold ….that a horror movie scares you out of your wit …..that an albeit funny comedian made you pee your pants and that the chocolate cake sent you into nirvana

……but in the case of love I ask you to make an exception …..to make a special case …I ask that you shelter the word from miss-use…..that you put your feelings to the test and critically examine them ….that you ask yourself if it really is love you are feeling or if you are not simply confusing love with some other strong feeling ….that you shelter love so that next time you use it, it conveys with full force the feeling you have ….that the person your love is directed towards is in no doubt about what you mean …..and that they do not see it as an invitation to turn the oven on